Therapy Session Lesson

Favorite day of the week! Today we talked about an issue that has plagued me throughout my whole life: filling the dynamic needs of human beings within relationships. See, I have had a habit for as long as I can remember of having one best friend plus a few acquaintances and relying on that one, main person to fulfill my interpersonal needs. Not only is this unhealthy and unrealistic, it is as my therapist says, “completely asinine!” This is something to remember both for friendships and romantic relationships alike.

We all have many aspects of our personality, no one is simply one dimensional in who they are and what they need to be emotionally fulfilled. So, we must make the effort to include various people in our social circle to satisfy, for example, our goofy side, our intellectual side, our party side, our laid back side, the list could go on and on. And in doing so, it’s important to note that being close friends with multiple people doesn’t take away from your connection with one person: there is no need for feelings of jealousy or resentment. In fact, having multiple people to turn to usually results in healthier relationships for all involved: Lord knows we have all gone through moments of growing tired of our friends due to too much time together and not enough time missing one another. The old adage is true, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

Another pattern that I noticed within myself, and maybe you will too, is that all of those best friends of mine approached me first (I tend to get shy around new people); so they basically became my go-tos more by default than by choice. So to combat these two pervasive habits of mine, over the next few weeks I plan on making the effort to expand my social butterfly wings, making relationships happen not simply by convenience, but by choice and effort, and not stopping after I find one person I can connect with.

What’s your advice for opening up your social circle?